Angels

[edited @ 3.20pm]
I was tired... more like exhausted last night, went to bed at 10pm, but couldnt sleep, got up and went back to bed few times, still unable to sleep, but i was exhausted. Doesn't quite make sense, i had no energy to even walk to the front door of my house yet i couldn't sleep, and i had a good 6hour sleep the night before, i didn't do any sports or exercises or workouts that evening even. in the end i think i fell asleep at bout 3.30am.

I have some really amazing friends, they're like angels to me. when i had that insane back injury pain, Cat who is so far away kept giving me words of comfort and encouragements, always assured me with the words "it's going to be over soon", "it's gonna end, just tahan awhile more", "it's gonna end soon". those words don't sound too magical, but in my moments of intense and severe back pain those words rang loud in my head and i can only cling on to it like a lifeline. at that point I couldnt see how it could end, but those words rang loud in my head. thanks Cat! thanks to all who prayed for me also and supported me too, Dr. Julian, Jan&Pang(very dear friends), James, Cord, Grace, Page, Jen, Dr. Basel, Dr. Kim, amazing ppl, the list goes on and on, sorry if ur name not here ah, doesnt mean ur the least, not at all! Also that Guardian Angel who looks after me =)

Some don't even know me well yet cared for me, one friend bought me medicated oil for back rub, another who found out wanted to treat me to a back massage! (i didn't go tho, paiseh lah), all the prayers, sms, some friends gave me chocs, another gave me sushi! when i was craving for it! the Amazing thing is this friend is my student's Mom, take note that her son and her are NOT in FB, but that morning when i posted that i was craving for sushi in FB, that very afternoon when she came by to pick up her son after drum lessons she gave me a box of sushi... walau... unbelievable! Grace, thanks for your cards! so inspirational and encouraging! Sze made cupcakes (i lurveeee em so much!) and then wanted to come to my house deliver the cupcakes to me (but i wasn't home). Just out of the blues bake cupcakes and deliver to me some more! then after that go back to Sg. like... i cannot understand lor such kindness and goodness, what I can understand is God is good!

So many challenges and setbacks and a string of unfortunate events, frustrations and all that would have turned me into one of these..


but then God sends His angels to touch me and show me His love, so amazing, unconditional, I cannot understand. who can fathom, the depths of His love. So many things in my mind. If i murdered or did something horrible to someone today, even if intentionally, i wonder if i'd still have these wonderful angels by my side. I for one, will never be able to be such an angel, as much as humans have great capacity for good works, there's also capacity for evil. As good as one can be, there's still a judgmental nature in our minds whether we're conscious of it or not. most often, not. it comes so naturally to judge someone who did wrong, a criminal, an offender, i'm so often guilty of that, yet I wish for someone that will listen and that will not be judgemental. I never fail to be amazed and touched by the story of the Prodigal Son. His Father's love so amazing, NOT judgmental, not condemning even after all the wrong the son has done. I'm amazed by those who are in prison ministry, who can still love the criminal and find redemptive value in each of those criminals and show love to them. such are Angels sent by God.

Yesterday I didnt feel like eating lunch, so didn't get myself anything for lunch. The same morning i read some devotional that says that I'm under God's favor, and "His favor rains down on you like dew on the grass every morning!". After lunch hour ended i came back to office and saw a McD Set meal on my Desk!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD... HOW AWESOME YOUR NAME IN ALL THE EARTH!@!!!@!!! my colleagues told me somebody gave it to me!!! .....

A quick and brief search for the word Angel from the web got me these results, here's an excerpt:
Angels - (a) In the widest sense they are agents of God's providence (Ex. 12:23; Ps. 104:4; Heb. 11:28; 1 Cor. 10:10; 2 Sam. 24:16; 1 Chr. 21:16; 2 Kings 19:35; Acts 12:23). (b) They are specially God's agents in carrying on his great work of redemption.

THere's a "higher level" of "angels" I'd like to address and thank, those who supported and encouraged me by being anonymous. words really cannot describe lah. You're really like Angels in heavenly beings that are God's agents of providence but are never seen or heard, no names, nothing. just Blessing and portraying God's love thru tangible and intangible things.

The giver and the taker

...to give or not to give

In this context, there are 2 kinds of person in this world. The giver and the taker.
There are those who gives and gives and gives, its their nature, some give unconditionally, some with conditions

There are those who are takers, its all about taking and taking, its never enough, or most of the time it's not enough (self-centered). most of the time its about me, me, and me, you? who cares bout you as long as i get what i want...

I've had alot of experience of giving and giving and giving, i always believe in unconditional giving as portrayed by my Father God in heaven, well He is God, I am not. It's draining, exhausting to be always giving and I'm NOT talking about monetary or financial issues. But of the other aspects of life, emotionally, mentally, physically, giving of your time and giving encouragements, care (emotions) etc. you can add to the list. Where do u draw the line if one were to give unconditionally, or do u even draw a line when u give unconditionally?

It sucks, it hurts, especially when you've given, and then u get stung or bitten in return. I've tolerated alot but i've been stretched quite far this time. i think i have a phobia now.

Food for thought and quote of the day (applies to me too)
"Actions lie louder than words"

Theresa

I'd like to share a true story...

Theresa Briones is a tender, loving mother. She also has a stout left hook that she used to punch a lady in a coin laundry. WHy'd she do it?

Some kids were making fun of Theresa's daughter, Alicia. Alicia is bald. Her knees are arthritic. Her nose is pinched. Her hips are creaky. Her hearing is bad. She has the stamina of a seventy-year-old. And she is only ten.

"Mom," the kids taunted, "come and look at the monster!"
Alicia weighs only twenty-two pounds and is shorter than most preschoolers. She suffers from progeria - a genetic aging disease that strikes one child in eight million. The life expectancy of progeria victims is twenty years. THere are only fifteen known cases of this disease in the world.

"She is not an alien. She is not a monster," Theresa defended. "She is just like you and me."
Mentally, Alicia is a bubbly, fun-loving third grader. She has a long list of friends. She watches television in a toddler-sized rocking chair. She plays with Barbie dolls and teases her younger brother.

Theresa has grown accustomed to the glances and questions. She is patient with the constant curiosity. Genuine inquiries she accepts. Insensitive slanders she does not.

The mother of the finger-pointing children came to investigate. "I see 'it'," she told the kids.

"My child is not an 'it'." Theresa stated. Then she punched the woman.

Who could blame her? Such is the nature of parental love. Mothers and fathers have a God-given ability to love their children regardless of imperfections. Not because the parents are blind. Just the opposite. They see vividly.

Theresa sees Alicia's inability as clearly as anyone. But she also sees Alicia's value.

So does God.
God sees us with the eyes of a Father. HE sees our defects, errors, and blemishes. But he also sees our value. Our GOd is a loving God, that's why I call Him Father in heaven.

Now there are friends who have told me they look forward to reading my blog posts, some find it humorous and hilarious, some told me its amazing how i can be transparent and be myself, despite my short comings. ANother close buddy Dr. J.T. smsd me to confirm with me that indeed.. VOLTRON ROCKS!! i agree bro! totally agree! hey buddy careful tho, sum might think ur a small kid, summore the doctor told me "Go black lion!" :P and he also affirmed me with the correct name of the painkiller is VOLTAREN :P I'm in no way an angel, if anything i be the devil (hey u there stop laughing i know u are :P) but if my posts sounds like sum small kid, well if it has affected some of my frens in good ways then i've made a difference.

unlike ppl who hide behind the securities of a fake identity or name and throw unconstructive criticisms, how c....... i'm sure most of u can guess that word that starts with "C", and so yea.. how c-onvenient is the word i'll use, no need to mention the obvious. and i wonder what your intentions are. That question you asked sounds very familiar, i've heard it before. now i'm asking,where is your sense of humor? you must be too matured to read my posts eh. well if it is, then i wonder why do u still read it? its funny, no one is forcing u or forced you to read my blog i hope!? :P

chillax! and have a break.. have a kitkat!

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